There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
