tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
