How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
