It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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