She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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