Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
