Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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