I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
