I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Oh god it's open bar.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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