So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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