Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My dick has a subreddit
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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