Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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