gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
