i think my mom watched the whole time
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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