Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
