Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
