You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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