I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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