He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
