I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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