dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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