He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
