Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
