i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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