Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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