this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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