He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
