Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
