i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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