i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
