is your mom at the bar?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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