the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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