Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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