12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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