I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
