it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize