I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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