I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
