Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
