We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
