you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
