He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
