Just mADE A PArabola og urine
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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