Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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