Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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