Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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