I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
