Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
