I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
