New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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