if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There r osticjed everywhere
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
