i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
