Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
