About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
