oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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