I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
