I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
